The Essence of Joy

Why Fun Isn't Enough

Image: Yo-Yo Ma, time.com

In a world where instant gratification is just a click away, have we lost sight of what truly brings us lasting happiness? While fun offers momentary pleasure, joy provides a deeper, more enduring sense of fulfillment. Understanding this distinction is crucial in a society driven by the pursuit of happiness. As I wait for my flight at JFK, I’m surrounded by advertisements promoting the idea that joy can be purchased through paid amusements. From the ads on the walls to the vibrating massage chairs, and from the phone booth-like mini-rooms where I can escape for $50 a half-hour, to the free Wi-Fi that offers endless videos and music, I’m bombarded with options. 

Each of these distractions comes with a sensory overload designed to hypnotize us into buying more amusements. The worst part is the subtle implication that fun is synonymous with joy. However, fun is not joy. Compared to true joy, fun is thin, transient, fleeting, and often self-serving. Joy, on the other hand, is broad, deep, lasting, and often costly in one way or another. I have no issue with fun; it’s wonderful and necessary. The problem arises when we begin to equate fun with joy. 

Joy is deeply connected to our dedication to the people and things we truly love. Without this dedication, joy is elusive. Like everything, joy has a price tag—but it’s not a momentary one. Its burden lies in our ability to endure the effort that comes with dedication. The question becomes: Can we forgo smaller, momentary gains for larger, subsequent rewards? We admire those who demonstrate this kind of endurance. 

When we watch NBA star LeBron James, for example, we see the embodiment of dedication to basketball; he epitomizes endurance. This dedication is also evident when we listen to cellist Yo-Yo Ma, the late gospel singer Mahalia Jackson, or admire the sculptures of Michelangelo. We are moved not only by their artistry but also by the enormity of their commitment and ability to endure. While terms like suffering and toil may sound harsh, the larger point is that our unwavering commitment to our goals is the shortest, perhaps the only, path to real joy. 

Consider activities like gardening, which demands patience and hard work, yet rewards us with the satisfaction of watching plants grow and bloom. The connection with nature and the fruits of one's labor offers a profound sense of accomplishment and peace. Similarly, learning a musical instrument requires dedication and practice, often over many years. The joy comes not only from the music produced but also from the personal growth and discipline developed through the learning process. Even physical fitness, which requires commitment and effort, results in the joy of improved health, increased energy, and the achievement of fitness goals—a testament to one's perseverance and dedication. 

I like to think about this in terms of two contrasting attitudes: The Joyful Thinker and the Fun-Seeking Thinker. A Joyful Thinker acts in the moment, free from outside influences or inner turmoil. She is able to look at situations with a fresh perspective. In contrast, a Fun-Seeking Thinker is trapped in the status quo, constantly seeking instant gratification and often critical of anything that doesn’t provide immediate pleasure. 

Image: Mahalia Jackson, npr.org

You can begin practicing joyful thinking through simple exercises in everyday situations. For instance, when someone rudely cuts in line ahead of you at the 7-Eleven, try to remain calm. You’ll have just a second or two to choose your response. But the more you practice maintaining your observer status—watching yourself before getting swept away by emotions—the better you will become at (1) controlling your decision-making, (2) staying present, and (3) increasing your capacity for joyful thinking.

Another way to cultivate joyful thinking is to track how often you complain versus how often you express gratitude for what you have. Does a cloudy day feel like a “bad day,” or can it be seen as a beautiful “silvery day”? What’s your complaint-to-joy ratio? You might surprise yourself. A Joyful Thinker doesn’t require as many amusements as a Fun-Seeking Thinker; their world shines brightly simply through the awareness of being alive. This doesn’t mean you should avoid fun activities—go waterskiing, attend a Taylor Swift concert, or eat a corndog at the State Fair. (Have a couple!) It simply means that even when you’re not having “fun,” you can still experience joy.

Ultimately, recognizing the true essence of joy and distinguishing it from mere fun can lead to a more fulfilling and meaningful life. As you strive to achieve your goals and remain dedicated to your passions, you’ll also unlock the profound joy that lies within your commitment to the people and things you truly love.