Another Jung quote that inspires me through much of what you describe: “No matter how isolated you are and how lonely you feel, if you do your work truly and conscientiously, unknown friends will come and seek you.”
This Stack has a tendency to post articles that pertain to what’s on my mind. Synchronicity? Collective consciousness? Anyway, thank you!
Jung is also the one who helped us understand why it’s so difficult to see others since we’re viewing them through the filter of our shadow projections. I’d venture to guess that Dan’s ugly duckling heiress had come to love and accept herself, and this is why she was able to offer him the welcome embrace he was craving.
I think we feel seen when we’re in the presence of someone who’s begun to withdraw their projections, learned to listen, practiced “seeing” the other, the human behind the words coming out of their mouth.
Something else I’ve noticed that I think contributes to the level of “separateness” that people experience today: we think that if others don’t agree with us, they must not really understand us. If we can’t persuade them to adopt our views, they’re not really listening. There’s a pervasive immaturity among today's adults that can’t tolerate ambiguity.
I also love how you’ve described the high stakes of sharing our creative gifts with others–the gifts that it seems we’re meant to offer. So vulnerable! Maybe being able to do this also requires some shadow work–at least to a level that we can withstand the judgment of those who’ve done none of their own.
OMG THIS: "Why aren’t my words taken more seriously when the less meaningful words of others seem to receive so much adulation? This is the loneliness of the soul itself." It's the story of my life. Is it any wonder that I experience such joy when that merging occurs even though it may be brief and transient.
Peter Himmelman has a very strong drive to communicate through his music, his writing, and his art. He takes us into his esthetic and emotional inner world each time. I told him "I wish you were more famous." Because I want more people to experience what I do when I enjoy his work. And HE takes my little comments seriously and thanks ME for understanding HIM. Heck that's the easy part.
This encapsulates, perfectly, my incredibly intense desire to be "heard," to be "comprehended," to be "seen.". There's a long story that goes with this but I would add that this desire, this need extends far beyond the workplace & most likely originates well before we get there.
The irony in my life was to have married someone who isn't deaf but has a hearing impairment which, "selective hearing" notwithstanding 😅 could not hear me well. Effective communication is so essential to building & strengthening relationships, community.
It is very satisfying to see this acknowledged & shared. Thank you. 🌿
You would be astounded at just how hard we hearing-impaired people work to understand what people are saying and whatever is going on. It's an ongoing struggle from the moment we open our eyes to when we fall asleep. Always being hypervigilant and FOMO. I live it every single day and I always have.
I can only imagine to imagine. I know how frustrating it can be in those moments when I don't hear what someone has said & have to ask them to repeat it. Hubby has to do that, a lot. I've seen over the years how it has caused him to withdraw. He asks me to take phone calls & go with him to meetings or visits (we're both clergy) so I can help him hear what he needs to.
I have started taking ASL lessons. I don't know how proficient I'll become but it is helping me to understand better that it's about souch more than just not hearing sound.
I drag my hubby EVERYWHERE. We are like conjoined twins. He is my ears as well as my wheels. He does all the phoning. He talks to to Uber drivers. Thank you so much for your deep compassion and caring for your hubby--and relating to our predicament. We are so often dismissed. As if our minds didn't work when it is only our EARS that fail.
Another Jung quote that inspires me through much of what you describe: “No matter how isolated you are and how lonely you feel, if you do your work truly and conscientiously, unknown friends will come and seek you.”
This Stack has a tendency to post articles that pertain to what’s on my mind. Synchronicity? Collective consciousness? Anyway, thank you!
Jung is also the one who helped us understand why it’s so difficult to see others since we’re viewing them through the filter of our shadow projections. I’d venture to guess that Dan’s ugly duckling heiress had come to love and accept herself, and this is why she was able to offer him the welcome embrace he was craving.
I think we feel seen when we’re in the presence of someone who’s begun to withdraw their projections, learned to listen, practiced “seeing” the other, the human behind the words coming out of their mouth.
Something else I’ve noticed that I think contributes to the level of “separateness” that people experience today: we think that if others don’t agree with us, they must not really understand us. If we can’t persuade them to adopt our views, they’re not really listening. There’s a pervasive immaturity among today's adults that can’t tolerate ambiguity.
I also love how you’ve described the high stakes of sharing our creative gifts with others–the gifts that it seems we’re meant to offer. So vulnerable! Maybe being able to do this also requires some shadow work–at least to a level that we can withstand the judgment of those who’ve done none of their own.
OMG THIS: "Why aren’t my words taken more seriously when the less meaningful words of others seem to receive so much adulation? This is the loneliness of the soul itself." It's the story of my life. Is it any wonder that I experience such joy when that merging occurs even though it may be brief and transient.
Peter Himmelman has a very strong drive to communicate through his music, his writing, and his art. He takes us into his esthetic and emotional inner world each time. I told him "I wish you were more famous." Because I want more people to experience what I do when I enjoy his work. And HE takes my little comments seriously and thanks ME for understanding HIM. Heck that's the easy part.
This encapsulates, perfectly, my incredibly intense desire to be "heard," to be "comprehended," to be "seen.". There's a long story that goes with this but I would add that this desire, this need extends far beyond the workplace & most likely originates well before we get there.
The irony in my life was to have married someone who isn't deaf but has a hearing impairment which, "selective hearing" notwithstanding 😅 could not hear me well. Effective communication is so essential to building & strengthening relationships, community.
It is very satisfying to see this acknowledged & shared. Thank you. 🌿
You would be astounded at just how hard we hearing-impaired people work to understand what people are saying and whatever is going on. It's an ongoing struggle from the moment we open our eyes to when we fall asleep. Always being hypervigilant and FOMO. I live it every single day and I always have.
Ms Billie,
I can only imagine to imagine. I know how frustrating it can be in those moments when I don't hear what someone has said & have to ask them to repeat it. Hubby has to do that, a lot. I've seen over the years how it has caused him to withdraw. He asks me to take phone calls & go with him to meetings or visits (we're both clergy) so I can help him hear what he needs to.
I have started taking ASL lessons. I don't know how proficient I'll become but it is helping me to understand better that it's about souch more than just not hearing sound.
I drag my hubby EVERYWHERE. We are like conjoined twins. He is my ears as well as my wheels. He does all the phoning. He talks to to Uber drivers. Thank you so much for your deep compassion and caring for your hubby--and relating to our predicament. We are so often dismissed. As if our minds didn't work when it is only our EARS that fail.